Thanks...?

So it's Christmas Eve, and I decided I needed a small break from my college supplements. So I decided to write this.

Everyone has been going around talking about being thankful, about how grateful they are, and appropriately, I think the biggest question for me, this season, is if I am thankful. Am I thankful? "Sure," says one side of me. "I have my friends, I met new people who have become important to me. I have my family, who supports me with love and material goods. Of course I'm thankful."

"Thankful? That's just a bunch of BS," says the other side. "Your life is a bitch, and everything's going down the drain. There's too much shit in your life for it to be considered good enough to be thankful for." And both sides have been fighting for dominance for quite a while now, with equally powerful arguments.

Do I have things to be grateful for? I think that's a yes. Is a part of my life an overwhelming shithole? That's pretty much a definite yes, also.

I think it's hard for me right now to just outright say that I'm 100% thankful— because I'm not. But I think as long as I can separate the shittiness from the good things in my life, I can be sane and appreciate the spirit of this holiday season just a little bit. Just because my life as whole feels like crap doesn't mean the things my friends and family have done loses value. I don't think things you can be thankful for can be added and subtracted nominally, like money, and I don't think you can— or rather, should— end up with a negative amount of thankful feelings. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's always a reason to be grateful, no matter how well or poorly your life is going.

So I'm not going to lie and say my life is going great. But regardless, I'm still thankful for the things I have, and that's just what I have to say this holiday season.

Merry/Happy whatever-you-believe-in.

-Grant